TKO 1 - Wipeout!

Scene begins in a grassy field.

Boxing Glove: HELLO everyone! My name is Boxing Glove, and I'm the host of a brand new object show: Totally Knowledgeable Objects! Yeah. This is a new and hip wiki show where 14 contestants will battle for the ultimate prize: The Champion Belt! ANd who likes a champion belt? VIRGINS! Let's meet them now!

Boxing Glove walks over to Fedora.

Boxing Glove: Hello Fedora! How do you feel about participating in Totally Knowledgeable Objects?

Fedora: Kinda...meh? I don't know. For one it sounds like fun, but for two it sounds like a lot of physical work.

Boxing Glove: Ok.

...

Boxing Glove: How about you, Fedora Junior?

Fedora Junior walks over to Boxing Glove, but doesn't say anything.

Boxing Glove: Uh...

Fedora: Fedora Junior doesn't talk.

Boxing Glove: Who knew both virgins and chad could compete in TKO?

Highlighter slides over to Boxing Glove

Highlighter: I'm hy-

Boxing Glove: DID I ASK?!

Cut to a platform with all fourteen contestants.

Boxing Glove: The first contest is a game of wipeout! The last contest to remain on the platform gets to pick people to join their team! GO!

The fourteen contestants are: Fedora, Fedora Jr., Razor, Chalkboard, Jacksepticeye, Spring Block, Paperweight, Sweat Pants, Water Bottle, Soda, Eyeball, Cream Cookie, Globy, and Photograph of Soda.

Paperweight: Oh no...

Eyeball: What's wrong with you?

Paperweight: I think I'm too heavy for this platform.

Eyeball: What makes you say-

Paperweight falls through the platform.

Eyeball: Huh.